Dying to Self

Jane's favorite place to nap, on my lap.

I was trying to decide what my first topic would be about while I was putting Jane to sleep the other night. I started making plans in my head and it went like this, "Once Jane is asleep I'll do a lesson of Bible study and then I'll start writing a blog post." (yes, I regularly plan in my head this way.) Well, it turns out Jane did not want to go to sleep that night. We started our bedtime routine at 8pm like normal and she will normally go down around 9pm. It was 9:45 with no end in sight. Every time I put her down in her crib she would just look at me and cry. My patience was wearing thin and I was getting frustrated with Jane. I hate it when I get frustrated with Jane. It puts me in such a bad mood because then I get mad at myself for getting upset with Jane. So I started examining my heart, "why am I getting so upset? She's had a hard time getting to bed before, why is it bothering me more than normal?" God revealed to me that it was because by Jane not going to sleep I was not getting to do what I wanted to do. I had already made a plan in my head and I was not getting to accomplish it and it bugged me... a lot. I had to let my plan die to be a better mother to Jane. I prayed that God would help me let go of what I wanted and focus on doing what was best for Jane. At that time, it was helping her get to sleep. After I prayed, God gave me peace, I relaxed and kept rocking and comforting Jane without frustration. About 10 minutes later she finally went down. It's like God was telling me, "Yes, that was what I was trying to teach you. Now you may rest."

She would much rather smile than sleep

Motherhood makes you die to yourself. In a good way! It's not like you never get to do what you want but when things don't go to plan you can have the right attitude, be joyful and still make the best of it. Glorifying God while being the best mother and wife I can be... That's what I'm all about. I hope to blog often but with a baby who doesn't like to sleep I'm not making any promises to how often I will. Well, I'm off to bed while Jane is still asleep! Here are two verses that remind and encourage me to die to self. Oh and check out the song "So Long Self" by MercyMe.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to His disciples "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow Me.

This girl loves her butterflies.