Mother of two, Family of four

We did it! We made it through our first month of having two kids to take care of! It has been a month of growing in love, learning more patience and exercising grace. There have been moments of immeasurable joy and moments of sleep deprived helplessness. God has sustained me through it all. At this moment, I'm lying in my bed, it's midnight, I haven't slept at all and I am nursing my one month old who has been refusing/resisting sleep for the past 4 hours. I'm also thinking about the fact that he will wake up at least two more times before my almost two year old wakes up around 7:30am ready to play. All of this has me wondering, "How in the world will I have enough sleep to get me through tomorrow?" The answer, I know all to well from experience, is God. He gives me the patience I need when I'm exhausted and my toddler won't stop trying to touch her little brother with her feet or the energy I need to chase and tickle that same energetic toddler through the backyard so she can feel a sense of normalcy in the midst of change.

Family nap time!

Update, I made it through the night! Atlas finally started sleeping at 12:30am. He would not settle for sleeping anywhere but in bed right next to me. He did wake up a couple of times through the night but went back to sleep easily. Jane woke up at 7:45am like I thought she would. Of course, thanks to God I feel pretty rested for about 5 hours of sleep. Now we're sitting on the couch while Jane watches Team Umizoomi and I nurse Atlas. I feel some mom guilt about letting Jane watch TV almost every time I nurse Atlas, but it's the only way I can get her to leave him alone while I nurse him and not be crying asking me to play with her. She doesn't quite understand the concept of "later" or "in just a few minutes" yet. So when I tell her I need to focus on Atlas right then and we can play later she doesn't really understand and gets upset or she understands the focus on Atlas part and tries to help by holding his hand or something, but it always ends up causing Atlas to stop nursing. I try to keep the TV shows educational, like Team Umizoomi, Daniel Tiger or Blues Clues. Anyone have suggestions for shows that are educational or teach social problem solving and the like that also don't drive adults crazy? :) 

Working while the kids sleep

Watching some TV is also how I am able to still work a couple of hours these days. I let Jane watch about an hour of TV so I can work for about an hour in the mornings then I work an hour or so in the afternoon while Jane naps. I actually think some TV is partially a good thing because sometimes Jane will do something (like say a new word or do a new action) and I'll wonder where she learned it then we'll watch one of her shows and I realize she learned it from the show. That also means I need to really careful about what she is watching and what it's trying to teach her. She's a little sponge right now!

Going on our first walk in the double stroller

Let me move past my mom guilt about TV and summarize, as best I can, the last month. I took Atlas for his first check up at 4 days old. He had only lost about 4% of his birth weight which was great! That meant he was nursing well, but the doctor said he had a pretty severe tongue tie that we should probably get clipped. I had been having more pain while nursing than with Jane and he seemed to have some trouble staying latched. The doctor also said if we didn't get it clipped it might cause speech problems later on. So I agreed we should schedule the procedure. I was a little sad we had to have it done. I know it's a pretty minor thing to be wrong, but any medical procedure done on a newborn feels scary. He had it clipped when he was 10 days old and It really was no big deal. It was done in 2 seconds and barely bled at all and he nursed immediately afterwards and was perfectly fine. He might have seemed just a tad more fussy the next day, but not too bad. I was more comfortable nursing and he seemed to be able to nurse better as well. So I'm happy we went ahead and did it. 

Trying my hand at a Pinterest idea. Birth stats.

Atlas had his 2 week check up and was still growing well! He had gained a pound over his birth weight and had grown half an inch already! His length measured in the 97th percentile. Maybe he's going to be tall like his daddy. :)

Right after his two week appointment 

2 weeks postpartum and feeling good!

My recovery was so much easier and faster than with Jane! I felt pretty normal after just a couple of days, but I still made myself relax and take it easy for a couple of weeks. I had the help, so I may as well take advantage of it while I had the chance! Atlas was born on a Friday which was convenient because then Sam and my mom were off for the weekend to help. Sam took off work the first week after Atlas was born to help me. It was a great bonding week for our new family of four. We watched a lot of kids movies together and napped on the couch. Jane got a lot of quality dad time! Sandra and Charlie babysat Jane a couple mornings so we could all get a nap in. Sandra brought us dinner a couple of nights as well. The second week, when Sam went back to work, my mom took off to help. My mom cleaned my house for me that week. She's cool like that. She also took Jane over to her house or to the library some days so Atlas and I could have some one on one time. It was a nice two weeks of rest and transition.

Giving Atlas a kiss while holding him for the first time

We are definitely still in the middle of transitioning from having one child to having two. Juggling both of their needs can be quite the balancing act. I do feel like we're learning together and we are improving day by day. I have my meltdowns some days, but when I do I always feel like I come out the other side stronger and with a better perspective and much less likely to stress out over the same issue again. One of the things that will easily stress me out if I let it is wondering if each child is getting enough attention. Mostly because I remember how much time I was able to focus on Jane when she was a newborn and how I can't quite duplicate that with Atlas. Then I think of how much attention Jane was getting right before Atlas was born and how much that has decreased. I have to remind myself that there is no way I can give the the same amount of attention to two children that I previously gave to one and that is completely fine. I am encouraged by my mom who had two babies just a year apart and I never felt like I didn't get enough attention. I'm pretty sure my brother feels the same way. :) I will just keep doing my best to divide my time wisely and make sure each child gets some one on one time with me.

The life of a little brother is sometimes being a felt board.

Having a newborn and an almost two year old means I don't have the time to do all the things I would like to do. Obviously, my blog has taken a hit. I used to blog after Jane would go to bed. Now as soon as Jane's in bed, Atlas starts to get restless and fussy until almost midnight and some nights it lasts until after midnight. So I'm writing this on my iPod Touch while Atlas nurses. It takes me a while to get a post together, but at least I got something! During these newborn weeks it feels like I don't have any time for myself, (mostly because almost anytime they are both asleep I am trying to work) but it is all worth it! The good times far outweigh the difficult times. Plus I know Atlas won't ever be a newborn again, so I am trying to soak it up and not let my selfishness get in the way of enjoying my kids. Satan is really good at trying to make the frustrating moments steal my joy. I am praying for strength every day to resist the temptation to be irritated and to stay calm and love this time while my kids are so little.

Jane on top and Atlas on the bottom both, 4 weeks old

Here are a few highlights from our first month. These are the moments that make the difficult times fade away. A family nap on the couch while watching Frozen with Atlas just days old. Atlas holding Jane's hand for the first time. Jane holding Atlas for the first time. Going for walks together with the double stroller in the beautiful spring weather. Braving the grocery store with two under two for the first time and making it through the whole trip without anyone crying! Working from home with Atlas napping in his bouncer and Jane napping on my lap.  Atlas sleeping 6 hours straight at night and Jane not waking up until 8:30am! (sweet sleep!!) Swinging Jane on the tire swing, chasing her around the backyard and blowing bubbles while Atlas contently watches from his bouncer. Jane trying to breastfeed Atlas. :D

Love cuddling my kids!

God is so good to us. He has fulfilled my dream of being a wife and a mother with an awesome husband and two wonderful kids. I can't praise Him enough!!

Mark 10:13-16

Then they brought little children to him, that he might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

The one about sleep

I'm pretty sure every mom blog has an entry about sleep and how they helped their baby sleep through the night. Well, here's mine.

Anyone who knows Jane, probably knows she has never been a good sleeper. She gave me 2 weeks after she was born where she would be awake for less than an hour and then sleep for three hours with no resistance. It was wonderful and exactly what I needed to recover from labor. As soon as she was 2 weeks old sleep became an issue. I guess she realized there was a world around her that she needed to experience! Also, 2 1/2 weeks old is when she had her first fever and we stayed in the hospital for a couple days. I'm not sure if that contributed to the problem or not.

Early newborn sleep was awesome

Up until a month and a half ago, I would start Jane in her crib about 9pm after about 45 minutes of nursing/rocking. (I know, I know... sleep crutches) and depending on the night she would wake up 45 min-2 hours later. I would nurse her back to sleep and put her back in her crib. Sometime during the night I would give up on the crib and bring her to the Rock and Play next to our bed. The next time she woke up I would put her in bed with me and co-sleep.

Although not ideal, this sleep program actually worked for us for a long time. I got enough sleep even though Jane would wake up about 4-5 times at night, but only because she went right back to sleep after I would reassure or nurse her. Co-sleeping only worked for us because Sam was fine with it too.

When Jane was between 10-11 months old, things got really difficult. She started fighting sleep like never before and she started waking up every hour at night. The real kicker was that when I put her in bed with me to co-sleep she would not go right back to sleep and would start fussing. I thought "Ok, this is really starting to be a problem!" Sam knew it too. He told me it might be time to try cry it out.

Now this was very hard for me to swallow. Both of us had been against doing cry it out and sleep up until this point hadn't really been a big issue for either of us. Basically Jane forced us to try cry it out. Nothing else I tried worked and none of us were sleeping much any more and we were all getting cranky. It was a last resort! Sam could tell it was wearing on me. The night we decided cry it out needed to happen, I cried. It was really hard.

One thing that made it especially hard was that I had always been so adamantly against cry it out. I had to wrap my mind around why it was ok for us to start now. I am still against crying it out for a young baby. I realized it was ok for Jane because she had started to wake up and cry because she didn't want to sleep. I could tell it was not a scared or hungry cry. She was just trying to get her way. I was able to realize this because during the day she had started to throw little temper tantrums when I prevented her from doing what she wanted.

It will be ok, I promise!

The first night Jane cried for about 50 minutes. Sam and I sat on the couch together waiting for her to settle down. Finally she did! She slept about 5 hours straight that first night! Instant results! The next night was better, especially because I had set up my video monitor and I could watch and make sure she was fine and starting to lie down. She cried about 20 minutes off and on and she slept 9 hours straight!! Amazing! I thought to myself, "Why didn't I do this a month ago!"

After the first two nights she would only fuss a couple of minutes and sleep at least 5 hours before waking up. A few days later I started letting her fuss and let her put herself back to sleep when she woke up around 1-2am. After about a week she stopped waking up then and started only waking up around 4-5am.

About 2-3 weeks into our new sleep schedule, I would put Jane down in her crib awake at 8:30pm (after about 10 minutes of nursing/rocking) and she would go to sleep with no fussing and she slept 9 hours straight most nights! Usually, I would nurse her when she woke up around 4-5am, put her back in her crib and she would sleep a couple more hours.

Jane has stayed pretty consistent with this sleep schedule ever since. There are still nights where she will put up a small fight every now and then, but for the most part it's wonderful!

Jane has finally turned into a good sleeper! Hallelujah! I have my nights back. It's a beautiful thing. I can blog or watch a movie with Sam or maybe even play a video game! I love my daughter so much, but a few hours to myself at night helps me be a better mother and more attentive to her when she is awake.

Sleep, sweet, sweet sleep!

There you have it. That's our sleep story. It's different for everyone. Us mothers all need to put less pressure on ourselves and our babies about sleep. If you have a sleep routine that works for you and everybody is happy then don't worry about it. If sleep is an issue and what you're doing doesn't seem to be working then try something else! Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work either, just keep trying. Your baby will sleep one day! Did I mention that she wakes up happy too?

I love when my kid is happy!

Psalm 4:7-8

You have put gladness in my heart,

More than in the season that their grain and wine increased.

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;

For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.