Family of Five!

Our family has grown once again! Alexandria was the perfect addition to make us a family of five. Her easy disposition has made finding our new normal as easy as I could have hoped for. It feels like I just gave birth to her, but at the same time because of her size, being a great sleeper and how well everyone has adjusted to her, it feels like she's been apart of the family for so much longer than 2 1/2 months. It's already hard to remember what life was like before she arrived.

First picture with all three kiddos
Xan just a few hours old.

For me the adjustment from 2 to 3 kids has felt the smoothest so far. Going from 0 to 1 was a complete upheaval of life of course. I went from working full time downtown to working part time from home with a baby when I had never changed a diaper in my life. I had wanted to be a mom for a very long time though, so it was a dream come true. It still meant lots and lots of learning and grace for myself as I learned to be a mom during those first few months. When we went from 1 to 2 I felt a fair amount of pressure and guilt from myself because I had to split my time between two kids instead of just being focused on one. I remember feeling a little inadequate at first because I felt like my kids deserved more attention than I could give them. In time, I found that it was good for them to have to entertain themselves some times and learn patience while waiting for me to be available for them. So by the time the transition from 2 to 3 arrived I had learned to give myself a break and do the best I could with my time and attention for each child and their needs. I've learned to still chase perfection, but not be so hard on myself when I don't achieve it in the way I had envisioned. Instead of being upset about what I feel like was failure, I try to learn and grow and be better next time. I know Xan being such an excellent sleeper has really helped me stay in the right frame of mind and not get super overwhelmed by exhaustion. :D

Jane's first time holding baby sister

Atlas's first time holding baby sister

Feeding Xan her first bottle

Jane always asks to feed her with the bottle now.

Because Atlas wasn't too interested when Xan was in my belly and Jane was super loving and interested, I thought it might be similar once she was born. I was wrong. I mean, Jane was just as enamored with her as I expected, but Atlas was obsessed with her too!! From the moment she was born they were both asking to hold her. In fact they would fight over who's turn it was to hold baby sister. I wondered if there would be any jealousy because I have to spend a lot of time with the baby, but I can honestly say there have been no jealous reactions at all. It seems the only emotion they have towards her is love! It's the sweetest. I think that because Atlas and Jane have each other to play they don't feel a big change in attention from me. At first I was having problems figuring out how to break up fights between Atlas and Jane while I was nursing Xan. They were fighting just about as much as normal, but I wasn't able to get over to where they were and calm them down fast enough before things escalated to blows. I've found what works for us is for me to try to sit in whatever room they are playing in while I nurse and be actively involved in what they are doing. I will talk about whatever they are playing with or let them bring me books to read or let them dress me up while I nurse. Fights are much easier to prevent as long as I'm watching what they are doing and I'm able to redirect them before they get too irritated with each other.

Sweet napping baby

Everybody watching The Star

Jane gave up naps about a year ago I think. Atlas gave up naps a couple months before Xan was born. The first month or so Xan would take 3 hour nap in the afternoon which was so great! That was back when she slept only 6 hours straight or less at night. Now she sleeps 7-9 hours straight almost every night in her rock and play, wakes one time to nurse and goes right back to sleep for a total of 12 hours of sleep a night. AMAZING! Her afternoon nap is much shorter now. Normally no longer than an hour and a half. It's still the perfect amount of time for Atlas and Jane to pick a movie to watch so I can either work, clean the house or give myself a little break in the middle of the day. Xan will take about three 30 minute naps throughout the day in addition to her longer afternoon nap.

All of them in footie pajamas! <3

The first few weeks Xan always seemed a little fussy/unsettled and hungry starting at 8:30 until 11pm or so. It happened to be right at Atlas and Jane's bedtime. Also Atlas was still getting used to having a roommate and thought if Jane was in there with him it was time to play. So we had to stagger bedtime with Atlas going to sleep first. Jane would sit on the couch and watch Peppa Pig or Team Umizoomi with me and Xan while Sam put Atlas to bed. We would wait until Atlas was definitely asleep and then we'd read a book or two and I would help Jane get settled in bed. Xan wouldn't sleep without me at all at night at first, so about 11pm I would go to bed with her. After about a month or so Xan started calming down at night and Atlas was getting used to Jane being in the room with him. So we started a new bedtime routine. I put Alexandria in the bouncer and Atlas and Jane take turn picking out books and we all read books together! Once we're finished with books Atlas and Jane climb into bed, I turn off the light and I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Jesus Loves Me and then we pray together. We finish off with goodnight kisses and hugs. It's normally 9 or 9:15 by the time we're all done. I give Sam the video monitor while I get Xan to bed because Atlas sometimes needs a couple reminders to go to sleep, not too bad though. Alexandria just needs a little nursing in the glider with me and she gets really drowsy. She'll either fall asleep in my arms right then or she'll put herself to sleep in the rock and play around 9:30 to 10pm. A lot of time she'll sleep all the way until 6am. I'll nurse her for about 5 minutes and she goes right back to sleep until about 9am! She's so impressive. Jane wakes up around 7:30 and Atlas at 8 or 8:30.

Pacifier baby!

Since Atlas and Jane no longer nap, I have to make sure I work while Xan is sleeping. Most days I wake up around 7:30am and let Atlas and Jane watch a show while they wake up and I work until 9am or until Xan wakes up, whichever comes first. Most of the time I can get all my work done in that 1 1/2 hours. If I don't, I can finish up while Xan takes her afternoon nap. On days that I don't have to work I sleep in as long as the kids will let me. ;) It's very helpful that Alexandria is a pacifier baby. My first one actually! You can see the amused look on my face in the picture above because I was impressed by how quickly she took to the pacifier. Jane is a thumb girl and Atlas didn't need anything. A lot of the time I will bounce her in the bouncer and she is sucks on her wubbanub while I cook or eat a meal. She really enjoys her activity mat too. So sometimes she'll entertain herself for a small amount of time while I get something done. If the mat or bouncer don't calm her then the carrier has never let me down. It's my last resort though because she's so heavy already! ;)

Three across in my Grand Prix!

The other day I was asked for the first time, "Are they all yours??" It felt like I had gained a mom badge of honor! Maybe it's because I grew up around a bunch of big home school families, but I don't think of 3 kids being "a lot" of kids. I mean it's busy and challenging, but I don't think of a family having a lot of kids until they get to 4 or 5. I think it's because my kids are little stair steps that brings more attention to them, all around 2 years apart. Each time I go out with all three I think I get at least 2 people that say a variation of "You've got your hands full!" and I only seem to get out a "Yep." in response. I try to remember to make a positive rebuttal. Like it's worth it or I wouldn't have it any other way or yes, and so is my heart! Because every time I hear someone say something like that I hear, "Look at the burden you have put on yourself". So I want them to know my children are a blessing to me not a burden! I chose this life joyfully! Sure, there are hard days and it is a lot of work, but it is the most important and wonderful job I could ever do to raise my three beautiful children.

Splash Pad!

4 weeks old!

I definitely started going places and getting back into our routine sooner after giving birth this time. Maybe it's because I had a routine to get back into now. Because with Jane it went from the no kid life to having a kid and when Atlas arrived Jane wasn't even 2 yet, so we didn't have very many things we did on a regular basis. This time we have park day and gymnastics every week. We try to do one other special thing each week and of course we always have to go grocery shopping. She fits in to all our activities pretty perfectly!

Xan slept through her first story time

The library is back! :D

They love park day!

Getting a break from the carrier while we ate lunch

On park days I wear Xan while brother and sister play. If I have to feed her I can ask one of the park mom's to help me keep an eye on the older two for a few minutes. Just a couple more months and she can try out the baby swing! If we go to the splash pad she's content in her car seat or on the ground for a while and then we'll go cool off in the splash pad together. :) At gymnastics as long as I feed her before we leave she normally takes a nap in the carrier and is content the whole time. I keep Atlas entertained with snacks, books and cars while we watch Jane. Walks around the neighborhood have changed quite a bit since early 2017. I've added a dog and a child since then. If Jane is up for it she'll ride her bike and Atlas and Xan will ride in the stroller while I walk Cambria. If Jane is too tired then she'll ride and I'll put Xan in the carrier. Either way works for me! It's been so hot lately that we've been waiting until Sam is home and we'll all go together after dinner. I love those family walks! :)

Grocery store with three, 3 and under.

The grocery store is such a wild card. It can either be great and everybody enjoys themselves or a disaster with screaming, fighting kids. I try to encourage Jane to push her own little cart at HEB, that way I can separate Atlas and Jane and everybody stays happy. Lately she says she's too tired and wants to ride in the cart with Atlas. I either wear Xan or let her hang out in her shopping cart hammock. She's been a dream at the store so far. The older ones fighting is my biggest store challenge right now. If it's a good store trip I feel energized afterwards, but if it's a rough trip I feel drained. My mother-in-law gifted me a year subscription to Shipt! :D So if I don't feel like chancing the moods that day or someone is sick or the weather is bad I can get it delivered for free if it's over $35!! Thank you Sandra! I just have to get better at remembering everything I need to order it online. I mean I take a list to the store, but normally just a little less than half my basket are things I forgot I needed until I start walking the store. Haha! I'll get the hang of it eventually. I'm sure I'll still end up going to the store every other week at least though. ;)

My girls! 

My boy!

Each time our family grows my eyes are opened even more to how important balance is and how elusive it can seem to be. There are a few areas that I struggle with balancing daily. For instance, the balance of letting my kids be little, make mistakes and express their frustrations, but also requiring obedience and enforcing responsibility and consequences. Then there is finding the balance between spending quality time with the kids, making sure I get my work done, my house stays in reasonable order and finding a little time to myself in order to keep my sanity. Everything is harder and feels out of place when we are in a state of imbalance. The only way I can correct myself is to slow down for a minute and pray. As I pray and reflect, I ask God to show me what needs to change and how to practically make those necessary changes to bring us back into balance. He's my rock. When things start to feel a little shaky, all it takes is focusing on Him and asking for his help and everything begins to steady itself again.

The impossible photo with all the kids looking. Grumpy Atlas

Now he's trying to escape. Yep he's two.

I was reading Proverbs recently and a verse stuck out to me because of what I had experienced that day. It was Proverbs 20:30 "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart." When I read it I didn't take it in a physical way, but an emotional way. I'll do my best to explain. Every so often I have an especially difficult mom day. It seems to come when I let my selfishness build up over time or I get used to a routine that works and when I need to change the routine to my ever changing children I get my feathers all ruffled and I try to push the old routine instead of going with the flow and finding a new, better way. I think I need one of those days sometimes to get knocked down so I learn and grow from it. Because for me, when I have a rough day it feels like a "blow" to my heart. Like I'm not a good mom or I'm doing everything wrong or I'm just inadequate. If I respond the right way, I don't listen to those harsh words from myself and let the rough day cleanse me instead. To let it make me see that I can still be better and not to wallow in complacency. It makes me rely on God more and less on myself and when I do that it means less of me and more of Him. If that's not cleansing away evil then I don't know what is. It always seems like I have a great day right after the really tough one. To me that's proof that the hard day was indeed necessary in order to bring about better days.

My crazies!

Atlas's face cracks me up!

I ask God to help me see past the moment. Past the moment of disobedience, misbehavior, bad moods, fighting and crying. For Him to help me remember to never allow their behavior dictate my response or let their mood effect my own. To know that a moment of irritation and chaos is not forever. I know I will regret a harsh reaction after that moment has past. Staying calm and being proactive instead of reactive is huge is to producing joyful days. I fail a lot, but I never stop trying and praying. Motherhood is a constant challenge, but always worth it. I am always learning, continually being refined.

Baby girl clothes are the best!

Enjoying the pool!

It's amazing to feel your heart swell as you look at your newest child. It's almost as if you can physically feel love grow inside you as you make room for another member inside your heart. I was reading Jane's baby journal the other day and I had wrote that Sam and I had talked about how we couldn't imagine loving another child as much as Jane. It is more and more evident to me that as you add members to your family the love you already had doesn't have to be taken from the previous members and shared with the new. Love GROWS! There is more love inside of you to give than there was before. My love for Alexandria is new and different from the love I have for Jane and Atlas, but it is just as strong and intense. With every child we are blessed with, I increase in my understanding of God and His love for us. He is so good to us. We are grateful to Him everyday for our three beautiful children.

My third little miracle

Psalm 127:3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Jane Turns Four!

My first born is 4!! I've been thinking a lot lately about how Jane is likely to remember my mothering mistakes now. She can express to me that when I yelled it hurt her feelings. Of course I always try to he the best mom I can be, but now there's the added pressure that Jane will have permanent memories of the good and bad! She definitely keeps me in check. If I react harshly to Atlas she will tell me not to be mean! Just the other day I was trying to keep Atlas awake on a 5 minute car ride so he wouldn't be cranky when we got there and Jane told me, "He's fine mom, leave him alone. Let him sleep." Which is what I tell her all the time! Haha! She has a really good memory already. We were getting out the inflatable swim toys for this year's swim season and Jane was asking for her turtle ring float which she hasn't seen even in pictures since last summer. I really have to be careful what I say and do and what I let her watch. She remembers it all!

Put on all the clothes!

Jane is so sentimental! She is so sad when she outgrows clothes and shoes. She was looking at pictures with me while I was writing this post and each time she saw a dress or a favorite pair of shoes she would say something like, "MOM! Look! It's my pink dress! Where is it??" I would tell her she outgrew it and she would respond, "awwww, that makes me sad. Please can you just show it to me?" She started pulling all her old clothes she had outgrown out of the boxes I had put away for Xan. I asked her, "How about instead of pulling out old clothes let's get out the box of clothes that used to be too big and see if you've grown into any of them?" She loved that idea and we had an hour long dress up party and every time she put something on she had to run and show dad! She wears 4-5T now. I remember looking through that bag of hand-me-downs we were given a couple years ago and thinking, "It's hard to imagine that Jane will be big enough to fit in to these someday!" She's gotten so big!

New experiences don't scare her!

She loves to do EVERYTHING special! Also while going through pictures she would say, "OH!! Look at that Mom! Please can we go there again? Please please please???" "OH! the fountain place!(Schlitterbahn) Let's go there again!!!" "I love Halloween can we do Halloween again??" She was pretty disappointed when I told her Halloween wasn't for another few months. ;) I normally try to wait to tell her we're going somewhere until just a few hours before we're going to leave because she gets so disappointed if I tell her about it, but we aren't going right then!

These girls met at just a few months old. Nicole, Brianna and Jane.

I love that Jane has a few friends she's known pretty much since birth. After our last get together Jane said, "Her's my best friend!" I asked who and she said Brianna. That makes them 2nd generation friends since I've been good friends with their mom's for more than a decade. So special! She is at the age that she definitely has friends she prefers more than others. Jane's park friend Nathan is her favorite play mate. She asked me why he doesn't come to the park anymore and I had to tell her that they moved too far away and can't come anymore. We can still see them sometimes just not as much as we used to. It made her pretty sad, but she didn't let it keep her down. She is starting to make more park friends and playing well with others most of the time. When it comes to sharing toys at her house is when she has the most trouble. She is very much the rule enforcer even though she forgets the rules apply to her too. ;)

First snow for both of them!

Her family members are her very best friends. At least that's what she tells me all the time! I love it. It makes my heart so happy. Sometimes she'll get mad at me or Atlas and say "You're not my best friend anymore!" but it doesn't last long. The next hour she'll be telling me how much she loves me over and over again. Atlas and Jane are playing really well these days. I can leave them to themselves for a good while before they have a disagreement I need to go referee for. It's usually because Atlas won't come to her room or play the game she wants to play. I love that they love to play together. It will be even more fun when Alexandria is old enough to join in.

Sassy little girl

Now, on to my favorite part of this annual blog post! Growth, first and favorites. I find it interesting that this year has brought the least amount of change in Jane's appearance. Changes in her face are much more gradual now. I love to look back through the year and find at least one "first" from each month of the year. They might not be the most traditional "firsts", but they are still firsts all the same. It's so much fun to watch her grow through the pictures and remember all our experiences over the last year together.

3rd Birthday

Weight

Birth: 8 lbs

1 Years Old: 18 1/2 lbs

2 Years Old: 25 1/2 lbs

3 Years Old: 29 1/2 lbs

4 Years Old: 34 3/4 lbs

4th Birthday

Jane has finally decided food is yummy enough to stop and eat enough to gain a decent amount of weight! She is now back in the 50 percentile. She was never an unhealthy weight, but she used to be on the lighter side. Now she's right in the middle of all the other kids her age. 

Height

Birth: 21 Inches

1 Years Old: 28 1/4 inches

2 Years Old: 32 3/4 inches

3 Years Old: 36 1/2 inches

4 Years Old: 3' 3" (39 inches)

Jane is old enough that they take her blood pressure and do a hearing and vision test now. (All is normal) Her well check paper work now lists her height in feet instead of just inches. It makes her seem so old! She's pretty average when it comes to height. Since Sam is tall and I'm pretty short I'm very curious to see what side she'll take after.

Firsts

Trip to the neighborhood pool! - June '17

Torchy's! - June '17

Riding a full sized horse & visit to Old McDonald's Farm - June '17

Fireworks show - July '17

Dentist Appointment - August '17

Schlitterbhan! - September '17

Learning to swim! - October '17

Trunk or Treat - October '17

Big kid bed! - November '17

Gymnastics - November '17

Playset - December '17

Big kid bike - December '17

Camp Tejas! - December '17

Preschool - January '18

Making breakfast - January '18

Visit to San Marcos and Mardi Gras Parade! - February '18

Swinging herself - March '18

Baby Sister!! - April '18

First Haircut - May '18

First Gymnastic Award - May '18

Favorites

Eggs Jane made herself

Ice cream pizza just like Team Umizoomi

Jane's tastes haven't changed too much over the past two years. She does eat a lot more these days and we even have to put limits on her now! We've come a long way from me worrying if she was eating enough. The meals we've had to put limits on so far have been cheese pizza, mac & cheese, hot dogs, spaghetti and meatballs, and ravioli. For breakfast she loves eggs and toast, protein smoothies, pancakes and sausage, sausage biscuits, and cereal. She loves all kinds of fruit with strawberries and watermelon at the top. She doesn't love vegetables unfortunately. But she does enjoy some broccoli and ranch or carrots and hummus. Of course she loves everything sweet! Vanilla ice cream with sprinkles is probably her favorite. Her favorite kids meal is chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-a. 

Reading to Atlas and me.

Jane still loves books! If there is a book we've read enough times she'll turn the pages and "read" it too me because she has it memorized. I love it! Some of her favorite books this year have been The Mitten, You Choose, Lift the Flap Body Book, What Baby Needs, Baby On The Way, The New Baby, Berenstain Bears and Little Critter versions. She changes favorites often. She really likes variety, so any book that is new she wants to read over and over for about a week and then she moves on. Of course this year the new baby books were the most popular because of little sister joining the family.

Gotta accessorize to watch a show. ;)

Her favorite shows are always changing! Just like last year, she doesn't stick on one for too long. She has been revisiting some old favorites like Team Umizoomi and Blues Clues. Some other favorites from this year are Bubble Guppies, Dora the Explorer, Tumble Leaf, Power Rangers, Super Girl. Just recently she has wanted to watch some of my shows with me! :D We've watched Dancing with the Stars and Call the Midwife together. Those are two of my favorite things to watch with my mom, dancing shows and period dramas! So it's pretty special. :) Can't wait until she wants to watch Pride and Prejudice together.

Watching Guardians of the Galaxy together

She loves to watch movies! She is starting to really enjoy non animated films actually. One of her favorite movies this year was the new Wonder Woman movie that she got for Christmas. She really likes Guardians of the Galaxy, Speed Racer and Beauty and the Beast. Animated movies still keep her attention the most though with other favorites being Wreck it Ralph, Iron Giant, Big Hero 6, Boss Baby, Little Mermaid and Moana. We rarely watch Frozen these days even though she still loves it and asks for everything that has Elsa or Anna on it. I still remember the days when we watched it almost everyday! 

Mario Kart!

Dress up!

Lamby love!

Jane's favorite toy of all time is her Lamby! My co-worker and friend, Janie, gave this lamb to me soon after I told her I was pregnant with Jane. I used to put it next to Jane when she would nap when she was a baby. She never picked Lamby out as her favorite until this year. It's so sweet. She takes her everywhere. Dolphin and kitty were her favorites before Lamby. Other favorite toys are her duplo and mega blocks, her American girl doll and her music toys, guitar, microphone and piano. She adores dressing up and playing video games. She can make it through the whole first level on Sonic 2 on her own with no help or instruction from me. She has gotten 2nd place in the grand prix races against the computer in Mario Kart 8 also with no help. Being a big gamer myself, I'm pretty proud. ;)

Jump!

So much energy!

The picnic table diving board. :)

Jane's favorite thing of all is to be active! So being outside is a huge favorite and I'm glad it balances out her love of movies, shows and video games. She love love loves to jump on her trampoline and swim in Marmee and Pappaw's pool. She can almost do a front flip from her knees on the trampoline and she can swim across the length of the pool with no help and without touching the side. She loves to dance and she asks almost every day if it's park day or time for gymnastics.

She was so excited to feed the bird!

Jane adores going on trips! She loves going to San Marcos to visit Uncle Scott, Aunt Anna and Ellis, and to Austin to visit her 2nd cousins and to Dallas to see Kokoo, Akuya and Uncle Joseph. I think her favorite trip was to New Braunfels and Schlitterbahn. Going anywhere special is a favorite for her though. This past year she really enjoyed going to Urban Air, Splash Pads, Pump it Up and the Houston Zoo to name a few.

Is it just me but does she look like she's 5 or 6 here?!

I just love to watch Jane's personality develop as she grows older. She's a ball of energy that can be hard to contain at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world. She has a huge imagination now and pretending is her favorite game to play now. She likes to be anything from a ninja to a pretty pink princess. She has finally decided to branch out of her dresses only style and embrace her entire wardrobe. It's a normal day when she has around 3-4 wardrobe changes. She tells me blue and pink are her favorite colors. She loves perform either a song and dance routine or her gymnastics show. She'll come up to me and ask if I want to come to her hollywood. I have no idea where she got that! While we're driving in the car she'll ask for a song to be on. One time the song "Celebration" came on the radio and out of nowhere she said, "Wait! Wreck it Ralph! What?" I was impressed she was able to place the song!

Happy 4th Birthday Girlie!

These last two pictures really make me realize how old she is getting. I know... I know... 4 is still very young of course, but she is really becoming her own person and having her own experiences and making her own friendships separate from me. It makes me feel so proud to already see her take those first small steps of independence, but also makes me cry a little. How can Jane only be 9 years away from being a teenager?? That feels too soon. I'll probably be feeling these same feelings then as well. My mom was just telling me tonight, "How is my baby almost 30???" Time is a funny thing, but no matter how much time passes I know Jane will always be my baby. Happy 4th Birthday beautiful Jane, we love you so much!

Matthew 5:14-16

You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they 

Mark 4:21; Luke 8:16; Phil. 2:15

light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, 

1 Pet. 2:12

that they may see your good works and 

(John 15:8); 1 Cor. 14:25

glorify your Father in heaven.

1 Pet. 2:12